Haverloshay.blogspot.com

Hey, welcome to my new blog name. New name, new posts. haha. Ok, first time i posted, it was a terrible day. and i don't like it anyway. so i change the domain name to make a different. Okay, see ya at my next post!

Happy Birthday to me!!

hahaha, yesterday was so amaaaazing..
i don't even realize that its not true..
OMG, don't you ever do such a thing to me again!!
I'm really shocked you know??
Aaaaargh..
Ahaha.
Thx for all.
Gue gbs crita dulu kygmana gue dkerjain.. tar yaa di post selanjutnya, soalnya ini lewat mobile. ahaha. keren ko. thx ya smuanya. especially Andra, Ayi, Manda, Ana, Adel, OSIS 08/09, NICANDER. wuahh. dbest lah kalian. ahaha.

D-1

Day-1
a Day before my birthday..
i wish my friends give me some little surprise..
But its only in my dream..
hahaha
fake laugh, fake smile..
i really want my crush (dabel yu kei) too greet me and say "Happy Birthday" to me.. ohh.. what a dream.. just dream. I hope it will cometrue. But its just a hope..

Huhuhu....
i'm soooooooo PATHETIC!!!
cryin till my tears become a river..
ooh ooh!!

I wan to make a poem for him.. the only one that i really love..

I saw someone
that so gorgeous
i thought he was an angel
but he is wingsless

he can't fly
but he can flying my heart

he's just sweet
like a morning dew
erased all my sadness
makes my life beautiful..

so.. don't go
just come to me
coloring my heart
like a rainbow

ohh you're the only one, the only one..
the only one.. in my heart..


lv u so

Road to my birthday

I dont know what will happen next..
is it going better?
or maybe it will getting worse?

This is just my little hope..
I hope that my 16th birthday will be amazing..
will cheer me up..
will make me forget of all my sorrow..

These are my wishes..
1. I hope Giring will be happy forever and so will Qibil
2. I hope my life will be better than yesterday
3. I hope he knows i love him and he loves me too
4. I hope me and my family will always be happy forever
5. I hope i get the best from my God. Thx Allah.

Ohh God.. i want you to approve my wishes!!!
i love you so much!!!
Hope will be better!!!

The Cry

So many horibble things happen to me. And it makes me sick. im cryin all day long. everytime i have nothing to do, my mind is thinking about the harsh truth about me. i can't tell those f*ckin things here.

i hate this life right now. i want go back to the past. to fix all my mistakes. to destroy all my bad.

i want to jump. out of these terrible days. i want to be alone for a moment.

i'm totally pathetic. ridiculous. goodless. i dont want those bad things stick on me. i want to be a good, smart, kind, funny people.

to all my friends, i want you all to help me. to share me your love and kindness. to make myself better. i need you all. sorry for all the mistakes i've done to you. i love you all. you're the best ;)

The Death

KEMATIAN
MATI
MATI..

Bagi sebagian orang, mati hal yang menyeramkan.. bagi orang yang putus asa, mati jalan terbaik.. Bagi yang hidupnya senang, mati nanti saja.. Tapi gue.. Orang yang Hidup segan mati tak mau. Gue harus gimana?

Mati. Kata orang mati itu akhir. Mati itu sial. Tapi bagi gue, mati adalah awal. Awal perjalanan kita menuju pangkuan-Nya. Berbekal amal sholeh.. mencari ridho Nya.
Kata Nabi, jangan takut mati. Jujur. Gue gak terlalu takut mati. Malah terkadang gue rada excited. Apa sih rasanya pisah dari jasad ini? Kemana sih kita nanti? Apakah gentayangan seperti kata orang? Gue tau kita bakal diam, merenung, menyesal dalam kubur. Kita sendiri, bingung, takut. Katanya, arwah kita akan menyaksikan sendiri jasad kita digerogoti cacing yang lapar.. digerogoti dosa. Itu. Itu yang gue takut dari kematian. Kegelapan dalam kubur, siksa yang sangat pedih. Gue gak muna. Gue pasti punya kesalahan.

Pernah nggak lo ngebayangin, lo ada dalam kubur, gelap, sendiri, takut, bingung, resah, memperhatikan jasad kita sendiri yang sedang menjadi sentapan hewan menjijikkan.

Tapi.. Mati itu misteri. Cuma Allah yang tau. Kita cuma harus beribadah, bersyukur, menjalani perintahNya dan menjauhi laranganNya. Gue tau, bagi kita yang 'manusia masa kini' semua hal yang gue omongin adalah lelucon. Atau sekumpulan kata-kata membosankan yang tak jarang kita dengar. Tapi, kalau hidup di dunia sudah senang, buatlah hidup di akhirat juga senang. Gue tau, gue ngga pantes ngomong gini. Gue juga hina. Tapi gue cuma berharap, kiamat jangan sekarang. Katanya, Jika banyak yang membangkang Allah, kiamat sudah dekat. Jika DAJJAL berkuasa, kiamat juga akan segera datang. Jika seorang muslimin teraniaya orang kafir.. adalah seperti jaman jahiliyah.. apa kita akan kembali ke masa itu?

Gue cuma berbagi pikiran. Jiwa gue kusut. Semrawut. Hati gue lagi ancur. Pedih. Terluka. Fitnah dan dendam merajalela. Kafir memimpin. Ia menggiring 'anak buah'nya ke Neraka. Dan mengupayakan segala hasut dan bujuk rayu seperti apa yang telah terjadi pada Nabi Adam AS dan Siti Hawa. Gue takut. Terlalu banyak hal yang gue takutin di dunia ini. Tekanan batin begitu terasa. Apalagi munculnya berbagai masalah yang makin meruntuhkan jiwa.

Obat. Gue butuh obat. Bukan, bukan Narkoba atau barang haram sejenisnya. Benar-benar obat penyembuh. Rangkulan Kasih Illahi.

Ya Allah, aku terima segala ujian Mu. Mudah-mudahan, aku akan dapat yang terbaik darimu. Amin.

The Damned Week

WHAT A DAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
I hate this week!!
makes me so stressful!!
too much pressure!!

Kenapa sih mesti kaya gini?

Awalnya, gue emang ngerasa aneh banget ama temen-temen gue.. mereka jadi agak gimana gitu ama gue.. tapi gue cuekin aja. Gue kira cuma perasaan. Is this because the f*cking election?? idon't know.. i don't understand..
Kenapa gue jadi ke-fitnah?? Kenapa gue jadi di tuduh-tuduh??

The 1st Damn Thing was.. pas orasi padahal sebelumnya kita udah janjian saling support.. nyatanya?? kelompok gue di sorakin lah, disindir lah.. yang paling parah DI FITNAH hal yang paling menjijikkan.
The 2nd Damn Thing was.. Hal yang paling terkutuk bahkan lebih parah dari pembunuhan.. Gue dituduh atas apa yang gak gue lakuin.. FITNAH.. sakit banget gue.. dan mereka semua nggak minta maaf sama gue.. mereka bilang gue maksa temen gue yang MPK biar gue jadi 10 besar.. F*CK!!! DID YOU KNOW I WAS HURT?? AND WHEN I'M PROVED THAT I'M RIGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO REGRET IT OR SAY SORRY TO ME!!! IT'S HURT YOU KNOW..
The 3rd Damn Thing was.. one of my bestfriends act weird to me.. aneh bgt.. pas mau gue peluk dia gak mau.. gue gatau knapa.. BUT I SAID SORRY TO Y'ALL!!!

I don't care about those f*cking things that just happen to me, it is bad, but THIS IS THE WORST OF ALL..

Pas semua orang menuding ke arah gue, dengan tatapan mata seperti ingin ngbunuh gue.. Mereka dengan seenaknya terus-menerus menghujani gue dengan berbagai kebusukan fitnah yang keluar gitu aja.. tanpa rasa sesal.. tanpa minta maaf..
MUKALO PADA BIASA AJA KEK! LO PADA NGELIATIN GUE KAYA GUE ABIS BUNUH ORANG TUA LO!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

STRESS!!! STRESS!!!

BISA GAK SIH BIASA AJA??

God.. Help me out of these f*cking things..
This is like a nightmare..
That is too real to resist..
I'm sorry God.. if i was hurt you.. i love you God..